Obsession
by Mistress Koko
Summary: Obsession is a word that is used loosely now a days, by those who think they know what it could possibly mean, when in reality it means something completely different and much more serious than they could realize.  Rather short, rated T


**{So I wrote this a while back, and just finished it now. It's rather short, the ending was much more different than I had originally thought, but I like it. It's definitely something different than what I normally write, but I liked writing it, even if it took me a long while to figure out how to continue. So I hope you all enjoy, even if it's rather dark for a bit~}**

**{Disclaimer}****: I do NOT own Pokemon, grazie.**

**Obsession**

Obsession is a word that is used loosely now a days, by those who think they know what it could possibly mean, when in reality it means something completely different and much more serious than they could realize.

An obsession starts out small, sneaking its way into our systems without our notice, as we start to become addicted to something; or more specifically, to some_one_. Slowly, over time, the addiction grows stronger, making us crave it more and more, the addiction transforming. That addiction's transformation gets worse, as it becomes a small obsession. It grows and grows, finally turning into a full fledged thing of _complete_ _horror_.

You can't sleep at night, can't eat, you'll even cry at times, and drive yourself insane, wondering why time goes by so much slower than normal. You wait by the phone, wait for the mail, even go so far as to wait at their own _home_, wondering when the insanity will end. You shake from the fear, paranoia will fuel your thoughts, doubt will gnaw at the back of your head, and you soon begin to realize, it's not just a small crush anymore, not even love.

_But an obsession, driving you._

I don't know when it started for me, but every night I would miss sleep, thinking of where that idiot is, what he is doing, if he's safe or doing some idiotic heroic mission (in his eyes), or even...

I always could feel my heart clutch and break slightly whenever I think of him in danger; risking his life just to save a Pokemon or two, because he's idiotic enough to put them before his own self. It always made me admire him (but at the same time worry) whenever he did this, for it showed that he really did _care_. But...

I would usually get angry, punch anything that was close enough, get bitter, when he wouldn't mail me back, or even dare to call. My sisters would just say I'm on my period, or that I've been bottling too many emotions inside, but I can't _help_ it. Not when I'm going crazy over this _stupid_ craze.

Days and nights grow slower without him, yet the time would sometimes seem like it's speeding up, as each hour passes by painstaking conflictingly... If that even makes _any_ sense. Apparently I never make sense anymore. My sisters would say that all that comes out of my mouth is either yelling or mumbling, and yet I never seem to even make a correct sentence.

I would sometimes sneak away from my gym duties, and go off either to a secluded area, Pewter City or Pallet Town. Most of the time, it would be my secluded little area by a lake, near the Cerulean Cove. I would go to Pewter City to visit Brock, as he's stopped traveling with _him_ years ago, or would go to Pallet Town to visit his mom, since she was like a mother to me. But I always felt at peace in my secluded area near the lake, hearing the water splash, the water pokemon swimming; it calmed me down and helped me forget of a certain chocolate eyed obsession. I would even stay there for days; I once stayed there for a whole week, my sisters had to come and find me.

I don't understand how this would grow so far. How just a tiny crush, an admiration, could turn into something so _horrible_.

Since my sisters found out about my last hiding spot by the lake, I had sneaked off to Mount Moon, deciding they wouldn't be able to find me in such a deep and dark cave; they wouldn't even _dare_ to step 100 yards near it. I had found rivers and ponds inside the cave, and would smile bitterly while tracing the surface with my fingertips. Water was my only cure, the only last thing to let me hold on to whatever was left of my sanity. Sometimes water pokemon would nibble at my fingers when I left them dipped in for several minutes, but I never minded; it felt strangely mind numbing, like I could forget everything in the world.

Sometimes I would climb the cliffs of Mount Moon, and just sit dangerously close by the edge, thinking over things. I would think of jumping off, letting myself just hang on the edge with just one arm, maybe even just roll down; maybe then, the news will get to him and he'd actually come to see me.

But then a sudden chill will run down my back and I would cringe at the thought. Was I really, truly, that _desperate_ to get him to visit me? I then sighed to realize that I was. I wasn't going to hurt myself, but to know that I would think to do so, just made me think I was really starting to lose myself.

Whenever I would eat with my sisters, I would always look at my food with a chilling silence, my eyes just dull. They weren't always the greatest cooks. They would bring this up to my attention, whenever I just mumbled out that I wasn't hungry. When I wouldn't eat their food for a week, I'd either run off to Brock, or even be more daring and go to Pallet to eat. Truthfully, I could always just eat in town, but if I went to Brock or to Pallet, I'd hear about _him_. Brock would tell me small stories of his travels with him, when I wasn't around. Delia would tell me stories about when he was younger, just a baby to his toddler days. It was much better than eating terrible cooking and hearing the plans for the next show or tour my sisters' would ramble on about.

When I trained my pokemon, I had seemed to become much more aggressive. It was the only way to release my anger, as when I would battle a trainer, they always seemed to either run out, crying, or would just never come again in fear of my wrath. My pokemon worried for me, but I just pushed them harder. I thought, that maybe, if I had caused some havoc in my gym, or became more powerful, my name would get out there, to where he would hear it, and come to actually say hi; maybe even battle. Though I knew it wouldn't happen, as each of my pokemon grew stronger, and less and less trainers kept coming. My sisters' say they might have to close the gym down if I kept that up. I just blew up at them, saying I wanted to only be stronger, but they said their word was final, so I turned my anger and training down for the sake of the gym.

I kept going back to Mount Moon, but not as much as before; I use to go everyday and night, spend so many hours there, training and thinking, but now I just go for an hour or so, maybe a day or two a week. I would swim in the waters in the deepest parts of the cave, and feel slightly alive again, not as empty as I would always feel at home, waiting for him to call. I'd sometimes swim with my Kingdra, who was once a Horsea, as she was my closet pokemon. She had evolved under my harsh training, along with my other pokemon, in means of getting stronger. She would help me forget sometimes, but usually, thinking back to when she was just a Horsea, I'd remember him.

I never knew how I became so obsessed, so _attached_ to him; I wish I never had. It drived me crazy, night and day it did. My sisters' were starting to get annoy with my behavior.

"It's been like, five years, Misty!"

"The gym is a wreck, Misty!"

"You need to like, snap out of this!"

No matter how many times I'd smile, it was always broken deep within, laced with quite a bitterness in it. My sisters started to notice. One day, they finally decided I just shouldn't be here anymore.

"We're sending you away."

"To where?" I asked in a quiet mumble, my head hanging down; I didn't even want to look at them in the eye anymore.

"We're sending you to Unova. It's a region extremely far from here, filled with new trainers."

"Why?"

"Professor Oak and Delia thought it'd do like, some good for you."

"Brock and ourselves believe so too."

"This place is filled with like, too many things that remind you of him! You need to like, get out!"

The information sunk into my head like a heavy load, and I slowly brought my head up, to look at them for the first time in two years. They were surprised, to see my eyes barely holding anymore spark.

"Go to Unova Misty, like, _please_. You need your fire back!"

"Your pokemon and all of us are like, worried sick about you! Go to Unova, forget about him, raise your pokemon, make new friends, just do _something_ other than like, sulk all day and sneak off all night!"

I looked back down again, sensing my sisters' worry. Maybe they were right.

I had packed my things, grabbed only three poke balls to take with me; my Kingdra, Starmie, and Golduck. I smiled awkwardly at my sisters and friends. My sisters gave me a smile of reassurance, as Brock and Delia wished me luck. They all thought it was better if I had released my anger and depression somewhere new, where I could possibly forget. I looked at the one poke ball in my hand, and back to my friends, and a small spark lighted inside me. Maybe I could forget... Maybe I can possibly heal...

I waved to them as the boat shipped off. It was going to take me a long time to get there, as Oak said the region was rather far from our own. I didn't care; I would take this time to heal. And when I would step foot into this land, I will dominate. Maybe I'll battle gyms, take on the league there. I'll catch new water pokemon, train them to my level, and battle other trainers there.

And just maybe, I'll overcome my obsession.


End file.
